Dear Mason

Dear Mason,

You are TWO years old today!  

...and there hasn't been a single day in the last two years that you haven't brought joy to my life. 

We lit your candles and sang "Happy Birthday" to you two times tonight because you loved it so much.  Watching you sing, blow out your two candles, and applaud yourself is something I could watch you do over and over again.  The way your birthday has made you smile - has made you beam - has filled me with warm fuzzies!

You are my everything, Mason.

Every single thing about you, from the tip of your blonde hair to the depth of your tender heart, has taught me so much about being a mom...about having a son...about life.  And as I have been busy raising you these past two years, you have been busy raising me.

I love tucking you into bed at night.  I love covering you up, cuddling with you, and kissing you goodnight.  I love how we can lay there in pure silence, making eye contact every couple of minutes, and grinning at each other through the glow of your nightlight.  Listening to you suck your thumb, I soak up these nights. 

I love that you love to eat.  For the most part, you are such a good eater.  You'll eat mostly anything, but still have your very favorites...cottage cheese, string cheese, macaroni and cheese, cereal, yogurt, grapes, and popsicles!  Popsicles are your all time favorite things to eat and when the box is empty, you have a fit!

I love how you are talking more and more every day.  You are beginning to talk in sentences, placing 2-4 words together to tell us what you want.  It is so fun to hear you grow and talk!  Everytime we drive by McDonalds you'll yell out the window "Donalds niiiice" (McDonalds is nice)...and you've started to yell out "ice cream" when we drive by Dairy Queen.

I love that you are finally sticking up to your big sister.  You are holding your own and I love it. You are now protecting yourself and your toys from Makayla.  It's entertaining to watch you two work things our between yourselves.

I love the way you play with balls.  Your Sunday School teacher made a comment once saying that with the arm you have, she'll be following your name in high school.  You do have a strong arm, son, and you will have a talent with balls.  Your throw is amazing and your stance is awesome.  You make me smile. You should see your bowling pose!  You bowl that ball with one arm behind you and one arm bent up in the air above your head - then you hold it until the ball has stopped rolling.  Amazing.

...and that smile. I love your smile - the way your entire face lights up, your eyes beam, your cheeks round out - that stops me in my tracks...that makes my heart skip a beat.  Your smile is your gift to the world.

I love that every older man with facial hair is "HO HO" (Santa)...

I love that when you get scared of something or someone you say "Gitchu" (Get You) - then when I tell you it's okay, you'll bring your little finger up to your face and say "nice" with big wide eyes...
I love that you are left handed and when we give you something in your right hand, you don't know how to function...  

I love that your hugs are getting stronger every day and that your kisses are getting bigger every day...
I love to hear you imitate animal sounds - especially when you snort like a pig!...
I love you, Mason.

...every.single.thing.about.you.

I cannot imagine living this life without you.

...and although I am holding strong to these days with you right now, I cannot wait to grow old with you, my son.  I love you and feel blessed to live my life with you.

Always and forever,

~your mommy

Chicago Inbetween

Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year:  The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again.  

~Menachem Mendel Schneerson

Last week was Makayla's 4th birthday and next week is Mason's 2nd birthday, so...

We took time in between their two birthdays and headed to Chicago for the day. 

We were joined by some great friends on an exciting train ride to Chicago, celebrated birthdays in the rainforest (Rainforest Cafe), and walked around downtown enjoying the shops and sights on a beautiful beautiful day.

Bright and early in the morning...
Here coooomes the train!!

I just love the look of excitement on Makayla's face as the train approaches!
Mason on the other hand in sitting back with me saying "Get you, get you".  At first, he was afraid of the train, but quickly warmed up and enjoyed the excitement with us!

...Here are my two babies, so very happy to be on a choo-choo!

It's fun to ride the train with kids - to experience everything through their eyes!

...makes life so much more meaningful.

...and of course, you can't ride the train without snacks or drinks! This is Mason enjoying donut holes and a Capri Sun!

Here we are - at the Rainforest!!  

...and singing "Happy Birthday" and celebrating with a Volcano Cake and sparklers!

After our yummy lunch, we walked downtown - sat in the park, went in and out of shops and old buildings, did a lot of people watching, enjoyed the perfect weather...

...we just had a good time with each other! -

Riding the train (highlight for the kids), a day in downtown Chicago, a beautiful September day, great friends, and a celebration of birthdays for Makayla and Mason!
What more could we ask for?
Nothing.

 The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.

~ Oprah Winfrey ~

Labor Day Made Simple

When you look at your life, the greatest happinesses are family happinesses. 

 ~Joyce Brothers

...and when my kids are grown I hope that when they close their eyes and think of some of their happiest childhood memories, that they are brought back to times like this past weekend.

Over Labor Day weekend we got to spend a couple of days in St. Louis with Aunt Nina and Grandma and Grandpa Allen. 

It was wonderful and watching my kids spend time and bond with their grandma, grandpa, and aunt just made my heart want to burst at the seams.

Over the weekend, we spent an entire day shopping (fyi...I loathe shopping for maternity clothes) and then we met the family at the hotel for some dinner and swimming.

*My kids love staying at hotels...to the point that Makayla spots hotels from the road just as a normal kid would spot out McDonalds!*

Grandpa letting Mason jump into the water so Mason could touch the bottom of the pool...After Mason's toes touched the bottom, grandpa would bring him back up again.  Over and over and over again...It made this mommy very  nervous.
While swimming made Mason's night, Makayla being able to leave our hotel room to go to grandma and grandpa's hotel room and sleep with grandma, made her night.

The next day we did some more shopping (fyi...I loathe shopping for maternity clothes) and then met the family in Collinsville for some Labor Day horse races.

The kids loved it!

It's been an annual tradition to head to the horse track over Labor Day Weekend and I look forward to all future Labor Day horse races with the family.

Mason intently watching the horses round the corner.

She gets into the races just as much as an adult does.

 We had a great couple of days spending time with the family. Watching the bond between my kids and their grandma & grandpa and Aunt Nina...it's magical.  One of the best parts about being a parent is being able to see your kids interact and form a relationship like none other with those that love them so dearly.

****************************************

Here are a couple of pictures capturing Makayla's excitement when opening some of her birthday presents:

A Justin Bieber notebook.  Oh my.

A Barbie Boombox with microphones to sing karaoke.  She loves to sing and perform and I can't wait until she starts choir this weekend!

Golden Birthday

Dear Makayla,

Happy 4th Birthday to my very first baby girl!!

 Our nails painted GOLD with *glitter* for your Golden Birthday!  4 years old on the 4th!  Even Mason had to join in on the fun!

Last night, I went to bed as the mother of a three-year-old.  This morning I woke up as the mother of a four-year-old.  In the last year you have grown up so much, so fast.  And while I feel like you turning four is affecting me in so many ways, you just keep telling me that there is no difference between being three and being four.  You keep telling me that you don't feel four and that you don't look four.  I know you went to bed last night thinking you would wake up BIG and you just can't seem to understand why you aren't big like a four-year-old today.  

There are so many things I admire about you...

Your heart is tender and good - so good.  The compassion and sympathy you have for others nearly brings me to tears.  I love how much you love people and want to help people.  I love how you are so giving and enjoy bringing happiness to others.  What makes this all so beautiful is you are still too young to expect anything in return - you are acting out of the goodness of your heart.  You are full of innocence and oblivious to the evils of this world.  As you become older, I can only hope and pray that you keep this amazing quality and always remember in your heart what's right and what's good.

You are smart - so smart.  You are amazing us daily with your intellectual curiosity, for you have such a strong desire to learn and seek answers.  For example, I've lost track how many times you have asked me, just today, how your baby sister is going to get out of my belly.  Because when I answer you with 'the doctor is going to help me get the baby out', that answer is just not good enough for you.  Keep asking, keep learning, keep growing.    

When we go into public restrooms (still one of your favorite things to do), you get your own stall and I get mine.  I love that you call out my name and when I answer you with "what", you just tell me that you love me.  I love that you can proclaim your love for me, or anyone for that matter, no matter where you are at or who you are with...even in a public restroom!

We took Makayla out to lunch today where they sang "Happy Birthday" to her and brought her out an ice cream sandwich.  She was happy, excited, and embarrassed all wrapped into one.  I love Mason in the background eyeing the ice cream sandwich.  Of course, Makayla asked me to cut it up so she could share it with everybody.

You show me beauty, when I see nothing.  

Your cake that you decorated all by yourself!  You did such a wonderful job!!

You hug with your entire body.

Singing "Happy Birthday" to the birthday girl!

You are a happy, joyful soul.

Blowing out your FOUR candles...making a wish...

 ...and I wish forever that you remain the four year old Makayla that you are today.  The way you are...the way you act...the qualities you possess...the smile on your face...the gleam in your eye...the things you say...the way you treat people...the way you look at life... - It's all beautiful.  You're beautiful.

My girl, you are so incredible and I love you the most!

Love, Mommy

It's Hard To Cry Quietly

You know - It's hard to cry quietly.

The other night before I went to bed, I made my nightly rounds to kiss the kids just one more time before my day ended.

There was Makayla in a deep sleep - so peaceful, so beautiful - and I couldn't resist but to place my finger in the palm of her hand and have her fingers wrapped around my one...just like a baby.

...and that's when it started.  The tears started flowing.

Our days are limited.  

Right now, I can quietly sit on the edge of her bed - or lay with her and wrap my arms around her - and watch her sleep.  I can place my finger in her tiny hand and kiss her soft, soft cheeks.  By the glow of her nightlight, I can be left in awe of her - her perfect, little features.  

These days won't last forever, though.  

I won't always be able to watch my baby sleep by the glow of her nightlight.

...and as I sat on her bed that night, I looked around her room.

Sparkly butterflies bouncing from her ceiling, baby dolls everywhere, books strewn across her floor, dresses, jewelry boxes, and Mason's sunglasses.

Mason's sunglasses.

Just spotting those little blue sunglasses made me cry harder.

 So, here I was, crying bawling sobbing, my nose was stuffy to the point I couldn't breathe, my shirt was soaked from the tears falling, I couldn't breathe, and all the while I was trying not to make a peep for fear of waking Makayla.  

I was a crazy woman - a crazy, emotional, pregnant woman! - I was sure to scare her if I were to wake her up.

...But those sunglasses...they sent me overboard.  I just couldn't help it!  

Those sunglasses won't be around forever.

And as I sat there wondering how I am possibly going to adjust to life (in the far future, yet the way time flies, will be here before I'm ready) when my kids are grown and gone - when there are no more sparkly butterflies bouncing from the ceiling, or no more nights when I can crawl into my kids' bed and kiss their cheeks or hold their hand, or no more blue sunglasses laying around the house (and I hope the image I get in my mind of Mason wearing those blue sunglasses with a massive smile on his face thinking he's a cool dude stays with me for a long time to come)...

I thanked God for what we've been given and said to myself once again...

These are the best days of my life right now...

Hot Air Balloons in the park

Mason sleeping in his big boy bed

Makayla at the car races (wearing her Christmas dress)

Makayla's first day of preschool this year (2nd year of preschool)

My Boy - after a night of playing in the dirt and rocks

...how could these days not be the best days of my life?
I have two, almost three, beautiful perfect children.

A daughter, a son, and another daughter on the way.

My days are filled with laughter and joy, surprises and magic, milestones and achievements, innocence and purity, love and happiness.

There is always a story to be told, a lesson to be learned, and growing to be done.

I don't really like to have those nights when I cry about my kids growing up (because I know it's an amazing thing to watch your kids grow), but that's how much I love them.  

A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.
-- Agatha Christie

They are everything to me and I want to cherish every single second of life with them right now and always.

Baby's Cells

Your Baby's Cells Stay In You For Life

During pregnancy, cells sneak across the placenta. The fetus's cells enter the mother and the mother's cells enter the baby --and stay there for life. In mothers, fetal cells often take residence in her lungs, spinal cord, skin, thyroid gland, liver, intestine, cervix, gallbladder, spleen, lymph nodes, and blood vessels. The baby's cells may also live a lifetime in Mom's heart and brain. 

-Sheryl Feldman

Here's a picture of our pretty little girl!

We tried to get a 3D/4D picture of her this morning, but her little arms and legs wouldn't leave her face long enough to get a picture.

I was amazed at watching hers eye open and close, open and close, open and close...

and her mouth kept opening and closing - she was either busy sucking and tasting or telling us a story...

and she kept sticking her little tongue out at us.

Her bladder was full and her heart rate was 132 beats per minute.

She's measuring in at around 2.5 pounds.

Mmmmmm - I can't wait to meet her!

Looooove

I just loooove cruising the country on these cool summer nights with the windows rolled down...the stars, the smells, and sleeping babies. It's all beautiful :) 

Firsts

Last night the kids got to experience decorating their own pizzas for the first time -

-and they LOVED it!!

Makayla did an awesome job loading her pizza up with cheese, pepperoni, canadian bacon, pepperoni, canadian bacon, and a little more pepperoni while Mason did an awesome job eating all of his toppings.  He couldn't get past a half cheese pizza because he was too busy filling his mouth!

Some other "firsts" for the kids this summer...

First time at swimming lessons for Mason -

-and he LOVED it!!

Mason can't get enough of the water and has no fear.  He loves to jump, splish, splash, swim, kick, go under water...he loves it all and it is always a huge fight to get him out of the pool.

Makayla is the complete opposite of Mason when it comes to the water.  She loves it just as much, but is a little bit more reserved and prefers safety over anything else.  She loves to have her floaties with her but gets a little more brave with each trip to the pool.

First time at the dentist office for Makayla -

-and she LOVED it!!

Her teeth got tickled with Cookies 'n Cream toothpaste and she got a goody bag full of prizes (because with every prize Makayla got, she had to get another for her brother Mason - so her goody bag was double the size as it should be). 

I let her go back to the dentist chair without me - all by herself - and let her get started like a big girl.  Once she was all settled in the chair and after they counted her teeth (20 teeth - 10 on top, 10 on bottom), Mason and I headed back. 

Based upon Makayla's run of luck this summer (ER visit and OR visit) and all the gum she chews, I was just praying for a good visit -

-and her visit was beyond good!  She loved it!

She kept saying "I didn't even cry!" and as I kept telling her how good she did and how brave she was, she kept saying "Dad is just going to freak out!". 

I love her!

...and even mommy experienced something for the first time this summer -

It was a first for me, the other night, when I waved to our cat in the drive-way.  

I was on the way to the sitters to pick up the kids at the end of the day and Chief was laying out in our drive-way.  I said "hey" and waved to him as I drove on by.

It was one of those moments where I sunk down in my seat with embarrassment.  As if Chief could hear, see, or understand me!  Who waves to their cat in passing?!  Obviously an exhausted pregnant woman does.  It was the first time I've ever done something like that and I hope it's the last! (it would be totally different if I wasn't in my car where Chief couldn't even see or hear me)...

Having a summer FULL of "firsts" - pizza decorating, Mason's swimming lessons, and Makayla's trip to the dentist (...even mommy's wave to Chief) are just a few of our experiences to always remember.

Bathroom Lock

All I want is a lock on the bathroom door.

Tonight, Kevin was at the shop working on some signs, the kids were laying quietly on the couch watching Diego (almost asleep I thought), and I took it as a perfect time to go upstairs and take a bath.  A hot, bubble bath - quiet, peaceful, alone.

I sneaked upstairs (because Heaven knows that if I told the kids where I was going and what I was going to do, then they would have been WIDE AWAKE trailing behind me) - turned the water on, poured in the bubbles, and filled the tub.  

I turned the water off and laid back to r-e-l-a-x... *ahhhhhh

2 seconds later (maybe 3) Makayla bounces into the bathroom.  She kneeled beside the tub and whispered "I'm just going to watch you relax"...I kept my eyes closed and told her to be very quiet.

Not a minute later, she declared she had to poop.  

I guess my hot, relaxing, peaceful, bubble bath is OVER.

As she was sitting on the potty, she told me that my belly is getting big.  Then she asked me why I had big veins on my boobs (sorry - I'm pregnant and she's an honest 3 year old).  I told her "...because of the baby".  She then nodded like she knew exactly what I was talking about and went on to talk about the milk in my boobs for the baby and began giving a tutorial on pumping breast milk.  It was sort of impressive.

And, of course, in the middle of her tutorial, up comes Mason into the bathroom.  As Makayla is going on about the milk, Mason is repeating "hot.  hot.  hot." and blowing on the water.  He's invaded my bath time enough to know that my water is *hot*.   

Finally, Makayla is done using the potty, and I have to get out of the tub.

A five minute bath for mommy.

Just a normal night at our house.  Just a normal visit from the kids in the bathroom.

All I want is a lock on the bathroom door.

Chalazion Surgery

I currently have three blog entries started, but today I am going to post about Makayla's surgery.  Hopefully, soon, I'll finish up the other entries and get them posted!  TIME - where does it go?! 

For weeks, now, I've been anticipating - with much anxiety - Makayla's surgery, the removal of a chalazion (cyst on her eyelid).  

- how scared is she going to be

- how much pain is she going to be in

- what is going to be going through her little mind

- can't I trade her spots

 - what if...

- ...the unknown

Makayla's procedure was fairly minor in comparison to many, but for any parent that has had to endure their child being put under anesthesia - no matter the procedure - can agree that the thought of your child being put under is scary.  Period.

Our day started out at 4:30am (Up before the birds!  Wow!)

and we had to be at the hospital by 6am.

We were registered and Makayla was dressed in little yellow "scrubs" with a princess hat by 6:15.

(She is so cute that I can't stand it!)

I worked really really hard all morning to...

 keep smiling, 

ask Makayla questions (because it keeps her busy and makes her feel smart to answer questions)

keep her informed step by step of what we were doing and what was going to happen (she gets really into the whole hospital/doctor scene),

make her laugh.

After Makayla was dressed, the anesthesiologist came in and went into detail of what was going to happen throughout the morning as to what was going to be used to keep Makayla calm and asleep.

The first step was going to be the "happy juice" - Versed.  They gave it to her about 30 minutes before she went into surgery, and let me tell you that the "happy juice" is real!  That little tiny syringe of Versed made Makayla veeeeeery happy, very loopy, and very calm.

I felt like I was taking care of a 3 year old drunk.

- She was seeing birds or butterflies (she couldn't tell what they were) and she kept trying to reach out and grab them.

- She kept repeating "Jesus" over and over again - very loudly and with a pattern.  JESUS, JESUS, JESUS.

- She was very limp, heavy, and giggly.

They say laughter is the best medicine - she had us laughing so hard that tears were rolling down our cheeks. Watching her and listening to her, I know is what got us through our morning!

The "happy juice" made her so calm and relaxed that she didn't care one bit that she was leaving us and that they were taking her off to surgery.  So off she went in her wagon, with a smile on her face, giving us a little princess wave! - 7:15am.

*The power of Versed is so strong that it erases your memory.  Makayla has no memory before surgery, during the surgery, or right after surgery.  Amazing! 

The procedure itself took about 15 minutes!  Quick and simple!
Makayla was in recovery for about an hour before we could go back to see her.  As we walked through the recovery doors, she was sitting in the lap of one of the nurses at the desk with a smile on her face.

Isn't Makayla so brave?  She's such a strong little girl!

We sat watching cartoons, drinking a Sierra Mist (Makayla's highlight of her morning), and eating cherry popsicles.

We were discharged and on the road by 9:30am, went out for donuts with sprinkles, and ended our adventure at Toys R Us for a toy.  She deserved it!

Today (the day after her surgery) her eye looks beautiful and you wouldn't have even known that she had surgery!  It's amazing how resilient kids are, as they definitely handle things so much better than adults do!

It's times like this that make you feel so blessed to have the love and support by friends and family in your life.

...and now that the stress and anxiety of this surgery is behind us and relief has come, I think it would be awfully nice if they had "happy juice" for moms!  This surgery was WAY harder on me than it was for Makayla!

As for Makayla - she says she wasn't scared at all!  She keeps saying over and over again that she "didn't even cry!" and she got to have soda!

...definitely an experience for all of us!