Happy Halloween

Happy Halloween 

from the baby doctor (OB/GYN) and Spiderman!!

When...(Remembering To Embrace)

I don't think that feeling of wanting "just one more" baby will ever go away.  Already, still while pregnant with our 3rd, I have dreams about having a 4th...But, I know that won't happen.  We are done after 3.  In our minds and in our hearts, we are meant to be the parents of three...and that's just what we'll be.

And because we've made the decision that after this baby, we will be closing this chapter in our life, I am very aware that there won't be a next time to do or experience all that pregnancy has to offer.  I've said from the beginning, since I took that first belly picture (that I never did with the first two pregnancies), that I was going to embrace this third and last pregnancy.

Being 38.5 weeks pregnant, I am reminding myself several times a day to embrace!  Every once in awhile, I feel really really good and I feel like I could carry this baby for a couple more months.  On the flip side, every once in awhile, I feel like I could lay down and birth this baby out - no matter where I am, what I'm doing, or who is there.  I'm so ready to have this baby, but when I start feeling that way, I try to stop.  relax.  enjoy.  soak it in.  for this is the last time I will be pregnant.  This is the last time I will ever create another human being.  

So...

When I get out of the shower and choose to air dry because I can't bend down to dry my legs, I'll stand there with a smile on my face.  I can't bend down because there's a human being curled up in my belly.

When I cuss myself every night struggling to shave my legs and making sure "everything" looks good because  'tonight could be the night', I'll just have to smile.  Tonight could be the night that I meet my baby girl and my goodness, I am going to look good!

When somebody tells me one more time "you're going to have your hands full" and I get the urge to punch them in the teeth, I am going take in a deep breath, smile, and thank God that I am given the opportunity to have my hands full.   Obviously I am going to have my hands full.  Makayla just turned 4, Mason just turned 2, and I am going to have a newborn.  Duh.  I chose this, though.  It's exactly what I want.  There's nothing that I love more in this world than being a mother.  It's true - there are days that I wonder how I'll make it with 3 little ones - but just thinking about our family of five fills me with butterflies and makes me want to burst with joy.

When I get home from work and feel guilty because I don't have the energy that I wish I had to be able to spend on my family, I will smile and be thankful that I have a job and that I am blessed with uncomplicated pregnancies that allow me to work up to this point.  With my first pregnancy, I can remember coming home from work and dropping on the couch.  I wouldn't get up for the entiiiire evening.  With my second pregnancy, I can remember coming home from work and being able to sneak in a 20 minute nap sometime throughout the evening.  This time around, there's no such thing as coming home from a long exhausting day at work and resting with my feet up on the couch.  Ha.  Every once in awhile, I'll get lucky when daddy takes the kids to run errands, but even then, I find it impossible to sit down and rest.  I spend those moments alone picking up, cleaning up, wiping up, hanging up (clothes), putting up...the work of a mother is never done!  Those days/evenings/nights of just laying around on the couch feeling re-energized and refreshed are long gone...

When I am having my 10,000th conversation about vasectomies, I'll smile and be tickled on the inside of how 'concerned' people are about our sexual health.  It's funny to me the way conversations evolve over the number of pregnancies.  While pregnant with Makayla, most conversations were all about the joys of becoming a parent for the first time.  While pregnant with Mason, most conversations were all about double strollers.  And while pregnant with this last baby, most conversations are all about vasectomies and how Kevin and I plan to prevent another pregnancy.

I've tried to enjoy every minute of this pregnancy andI know it's unrealistic not to moan and groan a little at all of the discomforts of pregnancy - especially the third time around for me.  It's been a challenge on my body!  I don't know if it's because of my old age or because of the non-stop-on-the-go way of life with already having two little ones.  Show me a woman who enjoys every minute of her pregnancy and give me her doctor's number.  I clearly need their secret or some of whatever she's taking.  Since this is our last pregnancy, I am making an effort to balance the complaining with gratitude and appreciation.  I'm growing a person inside of me.  I'm creating a life! - and while I may not seem all happy and glowing for the entire 40 weeks, I don't want to regret later that I wasted all of my pregnant energy on complaining or wishing for time to speed through to the end.

"Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy and complaining about the shadow over my feet, I'd have cherished every minute of it and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was to be my only chance in life to assist God in a miracle" - Erma Bombeck

Dress Up

Makayla came upstairs just a gigglin'...

because she was wearing mommy's clothes.

 We asked her if she had a baby in her belly (since she pretends so often that she has a baby in her belly)...

 ...and she said "NO!", and through her giggles said "I have big boobies!".

(bra and all)

37 Weeks, 4 Days

You know when you jump into a pool of water and your hair floats and waves through the water as you swim?...well, that's what your baby's hair looks like on an ultrasound.  You can see in the picture below that the arrow is pointing to baby's hair.  I know in this picture it kind of looks like blades of grass, but as baby moves, her hair waves through the amniotic fluid.  It's very cool.

When Makayla was born, she was born with a full head of hair with natural blonde highlighted tips.

 And I remember wondering if Mason would have hair like Makayla (kind of hoping he wouldn't because it was really girly) and sure enough, he didn't.  He was born with just a "normal" head of hair (not too much and not too little).

...and I can't help but wonder how much hair this new little one will have, along with wondering what else this little life will carry with her and bring to us. 

But - besides seeing her hair this morning at our appointment, we got to see many other things!

Her head is low, low, low (the reason behind all of the pressure)...but not low enough to not be able to get a glimpse of her face.  She spent a lot of her time this morning sucking away on her thumb, so you can see in this picture that her fist is up by her mouth.  

I exceeded my goal weight!  Woo Hoo!  Although the doctor didn't ask me to reach a certain weight (and in fact told me not to worry about it) and told me that I was doing just fine on weight gain, I still wanted to reach a "goal".  

*i like working towards a goal*

So - as of 37 weeks and 4 days, I have gained 26 pounds and exceeded my 140 pound mark on the scale.
It made me smile...

And  - as of 37 weeks and 4 days, baby is measuring in at around 6 pounds.  

With Makayla weighing 5lbs, 7ozs and
Mason weighing 6lbs, 8ozs,

this baby may fall right in between the two.

Here's a close up of her nose and lips.

We got to see her practice her breathing and watch her diaphragm move up and down.

We watched her heart beating and recorded a heart rate in the 140s.

We saw her eyes open and close, open and close, and watched her manipulate her thumb around into her mouth more than several times.

While the ultrasound tech did all of her measurements and recordings, we watched our little girl on the screen - in awe.

There is such a special sweetness in being able to participate in creation.

-Pamela S. Nadav

We had a great doctor's appointment this morning and now we just wait until next week when we see the doctor again :)
Getting closer by the day!

In the meantime, I can't wait to write about another "first experience" for our family.

Makayla and Mason were in their first wedding - being a flower girl and ring bearer for Uncle Mike and Nicole!  Daddy was also in the wedding, so unfortunately, mommy was too busy to take any pictures of my little beauty and handsome man *gasp*!  I didn't even get a picture of the Bride and Groom!  Totally unlike me!

Here's a preview of pictures taken from others - 

...and as soon as I get some pictures from the photographer, I will write about the beautiful day!

Four Funnies

Makayla has been into dressing up in my clothes.  Last night she came downstairs wearing my maternity jeans, one of my tshirts, and a baby in her belly.  She walked into the living room as if nothing was wrong with her pregnant self in over-sized maternity clothes, carrying on with her usual business.  Tonight, I caught her in front of my mirror in my bedroom trying to put on one of my bras.  When I asked her what she was doing, she said that she was "putting on her big magic boobies".

Mason is going through a stage right now that whenever he sees somebody in a wheelchair, he'll say "UUUH OOOH" 2 or 3, sometimes 4, 5, or 6 times, with fear in his eyes, point, and then say "niiiiice".  

The other day while Makayla was at school, Mason and I went to garage sales.  I bought a lot of nice clothes for the kids and as soon as we picked Makayla up from school, Mason and I showed her all of the clothes we got her.  She was really excited and wanted to hold them on the way home.  I told her "no" and that I wanted to wash them first because they were stinky and dirty.  Not that they were necessarily stinky and dirty, but not knowing where and who they came from, I just feel better getting them washed before the kids handle them.  She looked at me with confidence and asked while nodding "did they come from a black person?".  I told her that they didn't so she then asked "then why do they stink?".  I couldn't help but giggle to myself at her thought process and can't figure out for the life of me where she would have come up with something like this.  While it made me laugh (to myself, of course), it also made me sad because that's the first time she has ever shown discrimination or made a comment about someone because they were different than her.  I didn't think that would happen so quickly.  Life.

It's a known fact that when I was pregnant with Mason, Makyala developed an obsession of being pregnant herself.  That obsession has followed her throughout the years and has strengthened once again with this pregnancy (as in walking around the house with a baby in her belly, can't pick up her toys because it hurts her belly to bend down so much, talking about the milk in her boobies...).  There have been moments that Makayla's obsession has worried me because it has been so real for her at times, but now I think I have something else to worry about - Mason now thinks he's pregnant.  He will walk around patting his belly saying "baby".  Poor kid! - his sister (and mama) are warping him :)

Poem, Patch, And 'Pointment.

We're getting down to the nitty gritty of this pregnancy...

to the point that I am actually starting to feel pregnant.

I may not be "big" and I may not have put on a lot of "extra pounds", but I still have this little human being growing inside of me.  The pressure in my pelvis is strong.  The weight of this baby is heavy.  I dread trying to shave my legs, it's a workout to put my tennis shoes on in the morning, and it's nearly impossible to put on a pair of panty hose!  Thank goodness I get to wear scrubs every day to work and not have to dress up with hose!  Whewie!  I had to wear a pair for a wedding last weekend and I'm still trying to catch my breath from putting them on!

I had another doctor's appointment this morning and all went well!  This morning, I had the joy of getting tested for a bacteria called Group B Streptococci. 

Quoted from "Babble":

"Your doctor is probably going to test you for group B strep soon, which is a bacterium naturally found in 10 to 35 percent of all healthy women (not a sexually transmitted disease), and is unrelated to the type of strep that gives you a sore throat. It causes no symptoms and no problems for adults, but it can be very serious for a newborn that might pick up the infection on his/her way out of the birth canal, causing blood infection or meningitis. If you test positive (after a simple cotton-swab smear of the vagina, cervix and rectum), all it means is you'll be administered IV antibiotics during labor." 

*Note - the only reason I have included this description is for when my girls are grown and experiencing their own pregnancies, they can look back and see the difference in what doctors did today compared to how things will be done 20+ years from now.  I have always tested positive for Group B Strep and have had to be on antibiotics during labor and delivery.*

And besides getting swabbed, we did the usual - pee in a cup, weigh (just one pound off of my goal weight!), and listen to baby's heartbeat! 

While sitting in the office waiting to be seen, I saw a poster hanging on the wall...and I have no idea why I saw it this morning over all of the other times I've been in the office.  

I like things like this - It's a good poem and I try to live by these words everyday!

Children Are....

Author: Meiji Steward

Amazing, acknowledge them.

Believable, trust them.

Childlike, allow them.

Divine, honor them.

Energetic, nourish them.

Fallible, embrace them.

Gifts, treasure them.

Here now, be with them.

Innocent, delight with them.

Joyful, appreciate them.

Kindhearted, learn from them.

Lovable, cherish them.

Magical, fly with them.

Noble, esteem them.

Open minded, respect them.

Precious, value them.

Questioners, encourage them.

Resourceful, support them.

Spontaneous, enjoy them.

Talented, believe in them.

Unique, affirm them.

Vulnerable, protect them.

Whole, recognize them.

Xtraspecial, celebrate them.

Yearning, notice them.

Zany, laugh with them.

5 Weeks Left...

Okay...

Backache? - yes!...and on busy days, I feel like my pelvis is going to crack right in half.

Constipation? - no!...I have no problem pooping.  That has been my strong suit - regular, every day, very easy.

Heartburn? - YES! - HOLY, holy Heartburn!

Nausea, Vomiting, Acne? - no...

Aching feet? - No...not really, but I definitely wouldn't pass up a foot massage...or a lower leg massage, or even a thigh, butt, back, shoulder massage.

Incontinence? - yes!...yes, yes, yes.  Darnit.  It's the sneezing that does...almost every single time.  Ewww.

Exhaustion? - YES! - beyond exhaustion.

Varicose Veins? -yep!...in places I never thought was possible.  Again - Ewww.

Moodiness? - I guess so...according to some people - but for the record, I can't help it - us pregnant people have got a lot more hormone activity going on than you non-pregnant people. 

Nosy Strangers? - They don't bother me the least bit.  Because regardless of the back pain, heartburn, peeing my pants, yucky varicose veins, cellulite on my back,  shortness of breath, and exhaustion to the point of delusion...I love being pregnant!  I've been fortunate to have easy, healthy pregnancies without any complications or major concerns.  

...and like I've said before - I am embracing this pregnancy, as we only have 5 more weeks 'til this little girl is here - which means just 5 more weeks of carrying this baby in my belly, 5 more weeks of feeling her acrobats, 5 more weeks of hiccups, 5 more weeks of this solitary bonding that only I get.

***************************************************

I read in my email the other day that some doctors recommend massaging the perineum (the area between your vulva and anus) to help you avoid having an episiotomy or tearing during childbirth - and if you'd like to do this massage, now's the time to start.  Here's one method I'll present to the hubby tonight to see if he wants to help me:

1.  Wash your hands and then sit in a warm, comfortable area, spreading your legs apart in a semi-reclined position.  Put Vitamin E oil or pure vegetable oil on your fingers and thumbs and around your perineum.

2.  Place your thumbs about 1 - 1.5 inches (up to or just past your first knuckle) inside your vagina.  Press down toward your rectum and then out toward the sides.  Gently and firmly continue stretching until you feel a slight burn or tingling.  Hold this stretch for about 2 minutes - until the tingling starts to subside.

3.  Slowly and gently massage the lower part of the vaginal canal back and forth, hooking your thumbs onto the sides of the vaginal canal and gently pulling these tissues forward, as your baby's head will do during delivery.  Keep this up for 3 to 4 minutes.

4.  Be gentle, as a vigorous touch could cause bruising or swelling in these sensitive tissues.  During the massage avoid pressure on the urethra (urinary opening).  This can cause irritation or infection.

Ha.Ha.Ha.

Ya, Right!

I'm just joking! (don't get any ideas, Kevin!)
Although some women may do this, it's totally not my thing.

So...anyway...5 weeks left and embracing!