My Nephew and His Brain

This is my handsome nephew, Brennan!

I love this picture of him!

It's that smile!  His smile is so big - it's so happy - and it's so contagious!
How can you not smile yourself when you look at this picture?!

Brennan loves garbage trucks and he loves to vacuum.

He loves chex mix and oreos.

He loves to pittle around and follow his curiousity....wherever it may take him...

He is the middle child with an older brother to "do what boys do" with and a baby sister to love and dote on.

He is one of the most lovable little boys I know - always cuddling and snuggling and gives the best of hugs.

Brennan also has really bad headaches almost on a daily basis and sometimes wets the bed.

He has began stuttering, he can't hear very well, and his eye sight is poor.

At times, his speech is very difficult to understand.  He has a hard time getting his words out.

...and after several years of these symptoms (worsening over time), many many appointments with teachers and doctors, lots and lots of testing - a couple of months ago, Brennan and his family landed in the hands of a neurosurgeon with a diagnosis of Chiari Malformation.

Chiari Malformation?
What's that?

In terms that we can all understand, Chiari Malformation basically means that your brain doesn't fit into your skull properly...your brain is too big for your skull.

Chiari Malformation is a brain abnormality that causes the cerebellum (the part of your brain that controls coordination and muscle movement) to protrude into the space that should normally be occupied by the spinal cord.  When this happens, it causes a lot of pressure on the brain and spine, causing lots of symptoms - much of what Brennan has been experiencing the past few years.

Brennan's mom and dad have been and will continue to keep a blog about Brennan and his journey with Chiari Malformation.  Within their blog, you can find more information and pictures of Chiari Malformation as well as their journey - step by step.  Their blog is called "Brennan's Journey With Chiari Malformation" and you can click HERE to take you there.

On January 28th, Brennan will be celebrating his 5th birthday!...but just 5 days before his 5th birthday, he will undergo brain surgery.

This Friday, on January 23rd, Brennan will be admitted to one of the best children's hospital around.  Brennan will meet up with his neurosurgeon for a few hours and undergo a surgery that will relieve pressure on his brain and spine.  

Will this cure his Chiari Malformation?
NO.

This is not curable, but something he will have to learn to live with.

Brennan is a strong, brave boy.

I know he is going to take this surgery and recovery like a champ.
He's going to come out smiling - that big, beautiful, contagious smile!!

I know I can't possibly begin to understand what Brennan's mom and dad are going through right now - their baby about to be admitted to the hospital for a very serious operation on his brain - but I hope I can help bring comfort during this difficult time by sending a love box to Brennan, raising awareness for Chiari Malformation, and helping to grow their support system by asking for thoughts and prayers over the next couple of weeks as Brennan continues his journey with this brain surgery and recovery.

"As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you"

-Isaiah 66:13

To Brennan's mom and dad, I just want to say - 

Be there to comfort Brennan and let God do the rest.

I know the feelings you guys have talked about and how difficult and emotional this has been for you guys.  You are human.
It is normal to feel the way you feel and to have the thoughts you have.
It is normal to cry - It is normal for your blood pressure to rise - 

It is normal to cry - It is normal to want to scream -

It is normal to cry - It is normal ask "why us" -

Did I already say it was normal to cry?

You are human, but you are also warriors!!!

"Yes, you are a Superhero of sorts.  You are a warrior.  You wear the mask of bravery, the cape of strength, and the shield of hope."

You've stood strong from the beginning - 

from watching Brennan fight through his symptoms, to hearing the diagnosis, to scheduling his brain surgery - 

and I know you will continue to stand strong as you kiss him before he's wheeled off into the operating room.  You will stand strong as you wait for hours until he is in recovery.
You will stand strong when you see him for the first time after surgery.

You will stand strong as you guys head down the road of recovery.

We love you guys and I admire your strength.

...and we love you, Brennan!  Makayla, Mason, and Mia have been asking lots of questions about you and they keep saying that they hope you feel better soon!

Keep Calm 

and
Conquer Chiari

Lovers of Life

You guys.

Sometimes I get this overwhelming feeling that life is going by too quickly.

And I don't like it.

I don't like it at all.

The other night, all three of my kids were snuggled under the covers with me in my bed.

I don't encourage them to come to bed with me, but at the same time, I don't discourage it.
Sometimes I feel like the time spent in my bed with my kids at the end of the day is the best part of the day.

They're snuggly, cuddly, giggly...and they talk to me.  They tell me stories about their day and they ask me questions - deep questions like "what do we look like in heaven" type questions.  

But the other night, when they were all climbing into bed with me, that overwhelming feeling struck me.

It struck me so hard, that I think my chin quivered.

It was Mia.

She was covering herself up, her blonde curls just a bouncing, and she looked over at me with a huge smile on her face and said (in her oh so sweet voice) "potty in big potty".  She had used the big girl potty several times that day and she was just so excited for herself.

It was then.

My chin quivered and my breath was short.

My babies are growing up.

And I know I say that all the time, but sometimes it just hits me harder than usual.

Most days, I love that my kids are growing bigger and older and more independent.  I love it.  I love watching them grow into the people that they're supposed to be and I love watching them learn and spread their wings...

but sometimes...

like the other night...

I wanted time to stop.

Stop right there.

I couldn't bare the thought of losing that moment (my 3 kids safe in my arms and their sweet innocence) and the things my kids bring to this life right now.

There's Makayla -

She's a growing six year old girl who loves Monicals Pizza and broccoli.

(the picture above is after dinner at monicals - she was a beast and ate a gross amount of pizza that night).

She's super smart and enjoys spending time on the computer - typing out word lists, sentences, or letters to people.

She's very into creating chore charts and finding ways to make and save money.  I find myself paying her the most for, not chores, but back rubs and massages.

Below is something she's made to hang on the refrigerator that we can all put our money in when we earn it.

I love the way her mind works.

She's smart, a deep thinker, and very nurturing and 

While she's growing bigger and maturing with each passing day, she'll always be my baby.

Then, there's Mason - 

He's smart, he's a goofball, and he melts my heart.  

He melts it every day.

He's too cute for his own good.

His eyes hold an enormous amount of expression and he loves to hug.

He's one of the best huggers I know.

He, too, is a deep thinker just like Makayla...always asking questions and trying to figure things out.

(while i know this is not super deep, for a 4 year old boy, I'm sure it was a major revolution)

A couple of months ago, he came out of the bathroom so excited saying

"mom!  i know why my weiner has a crack in it!"

Worried, because I wasn't sure what kind of crack he was talking about, I asked him "why".

He said

"so my pee can come out!!"

duh.

While he gets stronger and smarter (learning to write) with each passing day,  he'll always be my baby.

Finally, there's Mia - 

She's growing up way way way too fast.

She talks all the time, sleeps in a big girl bed, and has been going on the potty more and more.

The other night, she thought she had to poop, so we rush to the bathroom and she's sitting on the potty and she farts toots.  It echoed in the bowl and Mia lost it.  She died laughing.  She laughed so hard, she went silent.  Her body was bobbing up and down, he mouth was open wide, and she began drooling.  I know it was that feel-good laugh when your lips go numb from laughing so hard and long.

...all because her toot echoed in the toilet bowl - a sound she'd never heard before.

Mia is awesome at using her eyes to communicate; when we tell her we love her, she always responds back with "thank you"; and her vocabulary is growing by leaps and bounds.  

She's such a happy soul and while she's growing bigger and gaining more independence with each passing day, she'll always be my baby.

So...

while I may have my moments of a quivering chin when I'm trying to catch my breath because I need time to stop right now, those moments only last for a minute or two...or three or four.

Those moments last long enough for me to give thanks for what I've been given.

They last long enough for me to open my eyes to my reality - thatlife is good and I'm so blessed to live it with Kevin and our kids. 

While I love love love what my kids bring to our life right now, the joy of being able to witness and be a part of what they will continue to bring to this world is amazing.

They are lovers of life...

and I pray that they always will be.