Handprints

Sometimes you get discouraged

Because I am so small

And always leave my fingerprints

On furniture and walls.

But every day I'm growing -

I'll be grown some day

And all those tiny handprints

Will surely fade away.

So here's a little handprint

Just so you can recall

Exactly how my fingers looked

When I was very small.

Mason's blue handprint

Makayla's purple handprints

Aunt Nina had a big day with Makayla and Mason today!

They visited Grandma Allen at work.

They visited Grandpa Allen at work.

They visited mommy at work.

They visited daddy at work.

They took a drive through the park.

They went to Walmart.

They played with moonsand.

...and with paint on their hands and a poem that's framed - they made mommy a present.

Thank you, Aunt Nina, for our special day!

Oh, My Heart

oh my heart

We have a smart three year old little girl who loves to wear mascara and lipstick.  She can spell the word "mom" and is the best mommy to her babies (changing their diapers approximately 25 times a day).  She has a tender heart and is very aware of othe people's feelings and emotions.  She is so funny, extremely smart, and amazes me a few times every single day with her knowledge, imagination, and memory.

We have a goofy one year old boy who loves to smile and to laugh and to kiss.  I know I talk about his smile a lot, but it's a smile like none other.  It's special.  It's his gift to the world.  He loves to climb anything and everything and is really good at stuffing his mouth (his favorites this week are bananas and peanut butter sandwiches).  He is a very curious little boy, observant of his surroundings, and enjoys sitting back and letting people take care of him.

...and our smart little girl and goofy little boy had a wonderful Christmas time!  

Our very special Christmas included lots of family and friends, cookies and milk for Santa, reindeer food with glitter and oats, food and wine, peppermint coffee and hot chocolate, joy, mountains of wrapping paper, happy chaos, love, a train table that Santa brought, dolls and trucks, laughter, peace, Christmas carols, stories told and picture poses, hugs, hope, twinkles in the eyes...magic in the air...a mommy who couldn't sleep because she was too excited for Christmas morning...

...and before we knew it, Christmas was over.  The day had come and gone in the blink of an eye. It was merry while it lasted!

Sadly, everything "Christmas" is all packed up and put away except for a few remaining things: Makayla and Mason's Christmas trees that Elf put up in their rooms at the beginning of December.  The reason why I haven't taken down their trees yet is because I really really really like going into their rooms at night and watching them sleep by the glow of the Christmas lights.  The other things that haven't been put up (because they will remain out all year long) are Kenny Rogers' "Mary Did You Know" and Stevie Nicks' "Silent Night".  I love those songs and will play them all year long.

So besides the kids' trees and two Christmas songs, all that's left are a few pine needles in the carpet, lots of pictures, and good memories.

...until next year!

Don't Waste It

"Sometimes," said Pooh, "the smallest things take up the most room in your heart."

~Winnie the Pooh

It is the smallest things in life that keep you going when you think you can't...

have you noticed that?

　

Tomorrow, we’ll be going to our second funeral of the week for family members -

and in the midst of all the tears, sadness, and sorrows -

we have been surrounded by the little things in life -

those "things" that keep you going when you think you can't.

The movie theater - a fun movie with the kids, popcorn, and giggles...

Christmas lights - driving around town in the warm car listening to my kids squeal at all of the "Halloween" and Mis-mas lights...

 Cookies - The simple joy Makayla gets out of baking and dumping sprinkles and the simple joy Mason gets out of eating them... 

Family - The family that you don’t get to see all the time, but when you do, it is all the more meaningful.  Here, the Curry cousins are gathered together for a Christmas celebration.

...and one more "little" thing in life that helps me get through the hard times, and possibly the most important, are my children's hands.  Little hands to hold and to kiss.  Little hands that hold me, comfort me, and fill me with love and hope.

When times are tough, the days are long, and it's hard to keep going -
Try, try, try to keep your eyes open for those "little" things -
the little things that shine a light and make you smile.


 “Don’t put off tomorrow what you can do today” - this is what was in my fortune cookie today.
How fitting is that?
The deaths in my family this past week have shown me that “tomorrow” is not promised and all we can really depend on is today.

Don’t waste it!

The Next Place

Words from Uncle David's obituary...

In each community David became a generous volunteer and pursued diverse interests in acting, reading, ice cream making, pyrotechnics, American folk music, guitar, film and much more.  Through electronics, letters written with his favorite fountain pen, or a personalized CD, David stayed in touch with many who will deeply miss his genuine interest.  Dearly loved by his many nieces and nephews, Uncle Dave would choose the gifts most adults would pass by, and therefore could be counted on to give the best and funniest gifts.

We who loved David will miss his wit, intellect, conversation, generosity, and creativity.  Our lives were enriched by his presence.

 A poem was read at my uncle's services today. 

It's beautiful, comforting, and full of hope. 

The Next Place by Warren Hanson

The next place that I go
will be as peaceful and familiar
as a sleepy summer Sunday
and a sweet, untroubled mind.

And yet….it won’t be anything like any place I’ve ever been…
or seen…or dreamed of
in the place I leave behind.

I won’t know where I’m going,
and I won’t know where I’ve been
as I tumble through the always
and look back toward the when.

I’ll glide beyond the rainbows.
I’ll drift above the sky.
I’ll fly into the wonder,
without ever wondering why.

I won’t remember getting there.
Somehow I’ll just arrive.
But I’ll know that I belong there
and will feel much more alive
than I have ever felt before.

I will be absolutely free of the things that I held onto
that were holding onto me.

The next place that I go
will be so quiet and so still
that the whispered song of sweet belonging will rise up to fill
the listening sky with joyful silence, and with unheard harmonies
of music made by no one playing,
like a hush upon a breeze.

There will be no room for darkness in that place of living light.
Where an ever-dawning morning pushes back the dying night.
The very air will fill with brilliance, as the brightly shining sun
and the moon and half a million stars are married into one.

The next place that I go
Won’t really be a place at all.
There won’t be any seasons—winter, summer, spring or fall—
Nor a Monday,
Nor a Friday,
Nor December,
Nor July.
And the seconds will be standing still…
while the hours hurry by.

I will not be a boy
or girl,
a woman
or a man.
I’ll simply be just,
simply me.
No worse or better than.

My skin will not be dark or light.
I won’t be fat or tall.
The body I once lived in
won’t be part of me at all.

I will finally be perfect.
I will be without a flaw.

I will never make one more mistake,
or break the smallest law.

And the me that was impatient,
or was angry or unkind,
will simply be a memory.
The me I left behind.

I will travel empty-handed.
There is not one single thing
I have collected in my life
that I would ever want to bring
except….
The love of those who loved me,
and the warmth of those who cared.
The happiness and memories
and magic that we shared.

Though I will know the joy of solitude…
I’ll never be alone.
I’ll be embraced
by all the family and friends
I’ve ever known.
Although I might not see their faces,
all our hearts will beat as one,
and the circle of our spirits
Will shine brighter than the sun.

Ecclesiastes 3

Ecclesiastes 3

A Time for Everything

 ¹ There is a time for everything,

   and a season for every activity under the heavens:

 ² a time to be born and a time to die,

   a time to plant and a time to uproot,

 ³ a time to kill and a time to heal,

   a time to tear down and a time to build,

 ⁴ a time to weep and a time to laugh,

   a time to mourn and a time to dance,

 ⁵ a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

   a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

 ⁶ a time to search and a time to give up,

   a time to keep and a time to throw away,

 ⁷ a time to tear and a time to mend,

   a time to be silent and a time to speak,

 ⁸ a time to love and a time to hate,

   a time for war and a time for peace.

____________________________________________________________

So, we have this elf.

A gift, a tradition, given to us a couple weeks ago by my Uncle Dave and Aunt Nancy.

Last night, Elf was busy!

Throughout the night, Elf gathered most of the stuffed animals in the house and read Christmas stories to them by the light of the tree.

This is what Makayla walked down to this morning...

Her animals on the couch.

Elf with a book in hand. 

__________________________________________________________________________

It's going to be hard work during the next couple of weeks to keep the JOY of Christmas alive.

My Uncle Dave passed away this morning.

Unexpectedly.

I feel like part of my world should come to a screeching halt

...but I know that it can't, and it won't.

Unexpected deaths are enough to rattle your body and open your eyes to life, but it has an even greater impact when someone you love passes away around the holidays, a couple of weeks before Christmas. 

Of course, I'm filled with sadness that my uncle has died.  I wasn't prepared for this.  I wasn't ready. 

But I know that my sadness doesn't even compare to his siblings, and definitely not his wife's.  And trying to comprehend their sadness fills me with even more tears.

The hardest part about death for me, are the ones left here on Earth.  My Uncle Dave is safe and no longer has to bear the sufferings and pain of this Earth.  While he is now an angel in Heaven, all of his friends and family are grieving.  Watching people cry, be mad, and be sad, is what breaks my heart. 

It's the process of people trying to figure out how to continue living a life without him is what breaks me. 

Elf is tied to a sadness right now and it's going to be really difficult to make him magical in the eyes of Makayla every night.  Everytime I pick that little elf up, I know I'm going to be overcome with all sorts of grief, emotions, and memories.  As easy as it would be for me to pack Elf up and not put myself through that extra reminder every night, I could never do that to my kids.  I need to keep our new tradition going and not be sad to do it, but be thankful that Uncle Dave was the giver of Elf.

 thank you loving us and loving my children. 

thank you for the memories.

you were a good man.

i will miss you, uncle dave.

Jesus Is Nice

12/9/11 - Makayla told me that Jesus is really nice and that he lives far, far away just like Santa.

Four Loves

I love her so much!

*I love that she calls her Magna Doodle her Magnet Noodle.

*She clears her throat over and over and over again.  When I ask her to stop, she tells me that she can't because there's a frog in her.

*Poopy, poop, and butt are the funniest words in the world right now.

*I love how she always says "I'm sooooo svetty, I'm hot".

I love him so much! 

*I love how he smiles his smile - the smile that radiates from his eyes, cheeks, and lips - the smile that reaches through and touches your heart - the smile that always receives a smile in return - I love that smile.  He's always spreading joy and making somebody feel special.

*Popcicles, baked beans, cottage cheese, pizza, and cereal are Mason's top five favorite foods...this week, anyway.

*Listening to him sing Justin Bieber's "Baby" makes me proud, along with watching him dance to any beat his little ears hear. 

*I love how he lights up my life...in a million different ways.

Jumpstart

It was the first weekend of December - a weekend to jumpstart the Christmas holiday for us!

Kevin and I enjoyed a fun night at the ALMH Christmas Party.  Good food, good drinks, good company, and good music! 

Yesterday, we ventured out for our traditional walk around Talbotts, in search of the "perfect" Christmas tree.

Normally, we're out there for a few hours, but yesterday, was a quick trip.  In just a short hour of our searching, we found it!

...and Makayla got to help daddy cut it down.

After we cut down the tree, we took the kids on a tractor ride around the farm and had a nice warm cup of apple cider.  Going to Talbotts has been a tradition for our family for as long as I can remember and it's a tradition that I'm going to carry on with my children.

Every year we always find The Perfect Tree.  Here's our perfect tree this year!

We of course had to cut about a foot off the bottom and foot off the top.  We always seem to get our trees too big!

And besides Christmas parties and tree decorating, we've been having a fun time with Elf.  He always has us searching high and low for him every morning!  We've found him sitting in our Christmas tree, laying on top of the tank watching the hermit crabs, and hiding in the refrigerator where he magically turned the milk green!  Yesterday morning, we found him sleeping in Makayla's underwear drawer!!

Here he's watching the crabs with one eye peeking out so he can still keep watch on the kids!

 When Makayla saw that he turned her milk green she said "eeeew, that's gross!", but then she quickly said "but I like it like that!!"...

I think she was afraid she hurt Elf's feelings that she said it was gross, so that's why she said she liked it green.  She made daddy taste it first and when he said it tasted good, she was good to go!

...there he is, sleeping in her underwear drawer!

I'm pretty sure Elf has some pretty neat ideas up his sleeve, but just has to find the energy at the end of the day to do them!

So far, December has been pretty good!  Santa visits, cookies, Christmas decorations, Christmas music...and soon we're going to start our Christmas shopping and hopefully enjoy the beauty of snowflakes within the next couple of days. 

Makayla's already telling me that I can't eat yellow snow!