Constantly

When we go out (and even when we're at home) I have my ears and eyes going in every possible direction.  

I am constantly scanning - keeping track of each of the kids, where they're at, and what they're doing:
Makayla, Mason, Mia, Makayla, Mason, Mia, Makayla, Mason, Mia...each one getting an instant glimpse to ensure their safety - all while my ears are listening to their voices all at once, nonstop.

Makayla, Mason, Mia, Makayla, Mason, Mia, Makayla, Mason, Mia, Makayla, Mason, Mia, Makayla, Mason, Mia, Makayla, Mason, Mia, Makayla, Mason, Mia, Makayla, Mason, Mia, Makayla, Mason, Mia...

...taking it all in as best I can.

saying a quick prayer as I watch Mason scale a ledge to balance along the top,

listening to the conversation unfold between Makayla and the neighbor as she tells him his tattoo is gross,
keeping a close eye as Mia shoves 5 grapes in her mouth,

admiring Makayla's blonde hair flowing in the wind behind her as she runs,

smiling at Mason's macho behavior as he mows the yard - back and forth, back and forth,
drowning in Mia's beautiful blue eyes as they sparkle in the sun...

I'm constantly watching
constantly scanning

constantly counting heads

constantly listening

constantly preparing

constantly praying...

...I'm in my own world most of the time, 

keeping track of kids,

keeping track of actions,

keeping track of words,

making my kids my #1.

It's work.
It's a lot of work.

But I choose, for one second, NOT to stop.
I'm not going to stop scanning, 

I'm not going to take my eyes off of my kids,
I'm not going to turn my ears off,
I'm not going to step away.

Not for one second.

There's too much at stake to do so...

too much to lose to "take a break"

it's not worth it to "rest" for a second.

As the kids get older, it's getting a little easier and a lot harder as I keep my eyes and ears plastered on them.
It's a scale that tries to balance -

 they're becoming more trustworthy, independent, mature...

naive, boundary pushers, risk takers, explorers...

Makaya, Mason, and Mia may be growing up, but my work will never be done, will it?!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

Speaking of growing up...

I am really really really enjoying the stage that Miss Makayla is in right now of learning to read and write.  I love going through her bag when I pick her up from the Y at the end of the day...especially when I come across papers like this:

I love how she is trying so hard to put her letters together to form her words.  

  

 

If she's already this smart, I can't wait to see what Kindergarten does to this girl!!