The day Mason was born -
and do you know why I was crying?
Sure, it could be because of my "hormones" (don't hormones get blamed a lot during pregnancy/postpartum?), or it could be because of labor and delivery, and it could even be because I am holding my brand new baby, my beautiful son, in my arms...
but the tears in this picture are because of my heart.
I remember being worried about bringing another baby into our family.
How could I share my attention?
How could I share my time?
How could I care for both of them?
How could I give to Mason what he needed without taking away from Makayla everything she had grown to known and expect?
How could I possibly love Mason as much as I loved Makayla?
*and as i sit here and type this, i am beginning to tear up (eh, we will blame this on the hormones). such an honest feeling, it makes me sad to think that i was in a place of questioning my love for my child.
But in the picture above, where I am brought to tears, it was at that moment I felt it. My heart, my body, my mind, my soul - every part of my being felt it. My heart was over flowing with love for my children - both of my children. It was amazing. My heart was throbbing and my worries were gone. It was absolutely amazing how I could feel my body open up to something that I thought I was incapable of.
Definitely a moment in time that will never be forgotten.
Bringing Mason into this world...it was divine.
I have given my kids different things and I have met their needs differently. They are two individuals with different wants, different needs, different likes/dislikes, different desires...They are Makayla and Mason, my son and daughter. They are their own person and I love each of them for who they are with all of my heart. I love them to the moon and back -
and I can't wait to love their new brother or sister.
I'm not worried.
(i may be nervous about other things when having a family of five, but i'm definitely not nervous about sharing my love)
We seem very different on the outside, but have very much the same emotions on the inside. You have such an amazing way of explaining just how I felt when I held Owen for the first time. Gavin asks me a lot who I love more between him and Owen. I tell him I love them for different reasons, but that never ends the questions. So I ask him who he loves more between me and his daddy. He usually laughs and stops asking. Of course if his dad recently spoiled him, he will say, "daddy." Kids are funny aren't they?
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